Its Almost New Years

I hope everyones Christmas was wonderful, I know mine was.  We had a great Christmas, altho I cried a lot, It was the first major holiday that my husband and I have have been apart. The kids missed him also. But we did Skypex-mas morning. I had him on skype and went downstairs first so he could see the suprised look on all the kids when they came down to see a bike and helmets for each of them under the tree. He watched the kids open all their presents. We then went and had a nice dinner at my Nanas. I've been pretty busy with the kids being outta school and working. I Cheated and weighed myself, I'm still at 319 lbs. Which means I have offically hit my 3week stall. Im not worried, more annoyed. Im also have Ketosis. I have a nasty soapy meticallic taste in my mouth. In the mornings I wake with this dry foamy feeling and I can't get outta bed fast enough to brush my teeth. MY incisions are pretty much all healed up. We bought a Xbox Kinecta couple months ago and LOVE IT. We got new games for it for x-mas and im totally hooked on Dance Central. Its one hell of a work out and fun too. Next week I can ofically start working out. Im gonna start looking at gyms tommorrow morning. I can't wait to sart seeing more weight come off. Well thats about it for now. I hope everyone has a safe andhappy New Year. See ya in 2011 :)

Time for an Update

When I started this blog, it was my full intensions to post at least twice a week, and now im finding it hard to post 1 every 2 weeks. Im gonna change that. I said I would document my journey, that way I might help, inspire and prevent anyone including myself  from being ashamed of Obesity. Well as of today Im down to 319lbs. Thats about 47-ish  pounds that I have lost since the end of July and about 20lbs in 17 days. I feel amazing... well I WAS, but I'll come back to that. I went for my post-op app in Chico on the 16th, Doctor said everything looked great.I went out and bought a sexy cute pink bra, which I can't wear until my incisions heal, I had to buy new shoes, I went fom a 10, to a 9. I also went and got a new pair of yoga type pants, at Old Navy(WOW) they were a xxl.. SHOCKING, but happy.. While at my Post-op,  I was able to see my Gall Stones, there was about 15 of those little bastards. Doc said my Gallbladder was hard as a drum and it was well over due for its exit. He advanced my diet from liquids only to Puree (yea me). I go back to see him at the end of Jan. I started back to work a week after surgery. I felt sooo good, that it seems like I was being lazy not to, even though I just had to major surgerys, yes im stubborn. Its been a trying week. I haven't been getting all my water in everyday. Its hard, but Im tying. I thought I would be a pro, a champ, a superstar, and for the most part I am, but theres that dark place in the back of my mind that says this surgery may not work and I will always be fat. I'm starting to feelmthe "healing" effect of the surgery. I have been very very sore and in some pain in my upper tummy where they went threw the man abdominal wall. I have becme a slave the scale with is driving me NUTS!! I haven't lost any pounds in abput 4 days, which is completely normal, So I have decided to put my scale away and not weight myself until new years day.. I refuse to add this tourment t myself. Christmas is almost here. I have been being as strong as i can for my kids and husband, but my walls finally crumbled tonight. I sat and cried and cried. Im tired, tired of being alone, tired of hang noone to hold hands with, not having a goodnight kiss, not having a should to rest my head on. I miss my husband, he is my support system. I try to put up this strong face, but deep down Im a hurt and broken person. Im not the type of woman who needs a man to make her life complete, but he is my companion, he knows every detail about me and I know every detail about him and now thats gone.  Life does go on and tommorrow will come, but my life is better when he is with me. The kids are taking it like champs, but I can tell they miss hiim also. Soo enough with the sappy.... I will start soft foods next week and moderate excerise, IM SOO EXCITED about that.. I thougth I would end with a list of what im soo thankful for.. here goes

Im thankfl for healthy beautiful children
the most Amazing husband any girl culd be blessed with
Im thankful he has a job, even tho he is away
Im thankful  had surgery before our insuance changes on 1.1.11
Im thankful the surgery went perfect
Im soo very thankful for my friends who have been there for me to cry too
Im thankful for a great place to work, I love going in each day
and Im thankful for a sweet as pie shop owner, she is a awesme
Im thankful for the best In-laws anyone could ask for
Im thankful for my family, even thos we aren't super close, nothing is more important that family ..
And
Im thankful  to whoever really reads my blogs. Thank you for giving me an outlet to express myself, and not judging me..

Its Been 1 week

Its been very much smooth sailing. I was full on driving by Friday, able to shower and changed my own bandages. I get very tired still tho and rather quickly too. I have lost 12lbs since Last Monday for a total of 40Lbs since Aug.  I so excited to see what the New Year brings. I have been thinking towards the future the last couple of day. Once I lose more weight, Im thinkng of putting My Law Enforcement Degree to work and work in Probation or maybe do a Police Academy, or putting my Medical Background to use and  becoming a EMT.. suddenly life seems to be full of endless options and I can't wait to explore them ;)

5 days Post-op surgery

So I went in @ 5:30am On Monday 12-6-2010. I had my Best friend next to me and the Best Mother-inlaw next to me. I was nervous,  When I got on the table tears started roll outta my eyes, The nurses  were very comforting. I remmeber telling them as I faded out " I have 3 kids who thnk I'm very important, so I have make out ok." When I woke up, boy oh boy was I in pain. I woke in recovery and tried taking out the nose oxygen thingy, and the nurse said " no no" I told her I was in pain, a lot of pain, which she promtly told me " Well this is what you wanted" BITCH... I Got up to my room and all that day I was very groggy. I tried to get up and walk, but I only started dry heeving.  I really started to think I F'ed up good this time. I told the Doc to fix me back..  Talk about Buyers Remourse. The next day was better, very sore, I took a shower and walked walked walked. Started talking  meds orally by that night. The next day I felt even better, Walking really did help the gas  in my tummy. My Mother-inlaw  drove me home and I rested on the couch. Everyday has gotten better and better, I barely use the pain meds. I have been sleeping on the couch, it reclines and makes sleeeping very nice. I head back to the Doc on the 16th, hopfully then I will be able to get off the liquid diet and start soft foods, I have been craving egg beaters with salt and pepper and Ketchup... and Egg salad ... soon enough .. My tummy  looks like I stopped 7 bullets LOL  and I tire quickly, but Its just my body re-adjusting.. So I will keep everyone update on my weight loss, so far I have lost 5 pounds since Monday..

its the night before surgery and all threw the Hotel

Everyone is sleeping except me.... We made it to Chico. Thank god we left early and decided to stay the night here in Chico , My surgery was changed to 7am instead of 10am. It poured rain the whole way here and we saw a very nasty car accident. Im getting nervous and excited. I just setteled in and showered with the Hibiclens and placed my patch behind my ear. Its almst 10pm and im wide awake, but tired as hell. I'm wondering  if this is going to extreme? Is this really whats its come to? I have lost 30lbs on my own, do I really need this surgery. The Answer is YES, Hell YES!! I have been able to loose the weight, but it has never stayed off. This is a once in a lifetime  options for me. Never again will my insurance be soo good, Its perfect timing, and I paid the $3500 surgeon fee.

This is it.. I will do this, I am scared, but i will rock this surgery and will lose as much weight As I can. I will be thinner and I will play with my kids more, I will take them bike riding, I will play sports with them. I will feel better about myself, I will be able to shop at normal places, not just Fat girl stores. I will go into surgery with my held held high, knowing i have tried everything i could to be thin and I have done my part to loose as much weight prior to surgery. I will use this tool 100%,  In 6 hours I willbe up and ready to embark on my new journey, I will rock this surgery!!

Half way threw the Liquid diet

So I will not lie.. The Liquid diet started out SHITTY.. I was bitchy, grumpy, hungry. It was horrid. It took me 3 days to adjust. Now its not bad at all. I have lost about 5 lb, Im now down to 340lbs. I have lost a total of 27lbs since I started this .. Its nice that people can see it too. I'm gonna pack a couple things tonight for the hospital. My mother-inlaw will be flying in Sunday. Im glad she will be there. I really hope my best friend can make it, she makes me laugh and I know she will calm my nerves. Im scared of course, but its more nervous to get this done and in the past.  Im not sure if I mentioned it, but I cut all  my hair of, Its very punky, I love it.. Im noticing my skirts are barely staying on :) Its an amazing feeling .. I will be posting a couple pics of me (full length) before surgery and Pics of surgery also.. I will try to update this the night before surgery :) I check ion the hospital at 7:30am Monday morning