Thursday, October 28, 2010

HUGE set back

Im sitting here in TEARS, bawling my eyes out. I was soo close. Nov 9th was my surgery date, I did all my pre-op stuff, lost 23lbs. I had my endoscopy done Last friday, it came back that i have gastritis and H.polori. So I have been on 2 antibaiotics since Monday. Well one of them was making me very sick, so i called the doc office. She just called me back and said that i was getting another script and my surgery had to be moved to Dec 14th. I have to be on the meds for 2 full weeks, then have another Endo done to make sure the bacteria is gone. They don't have anything until Dec14th. I feel cheater, crushed, like i wanna throw a toddler fit. I busted my ass to loose the weight. I have been on a liquid diet  since Oct7th. I planned for my husband to be here. He is Overseas and this was the only time he could be home to help me, NOW , i have pretty much NO one. I explained all this to the Doc nurse and they understand but there is nothing that can be done. I'm crushed and feel like i wanna give up and stay fat forever.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Well I had the Endoscopy done today.

I was nervous as hell this morning. Not really until i put on the gown and then I had the most amazing people around me. My Ex-husband went with me, to drive me home and he really did calm my nerves. The nurses were great. The IV went in very smooth, no pain at all. Then I was wheeled into the procceder area and given meds and it was all over.. YEA!!! And I weighed in this morning and im down to 346!!! YEA!!! Im doing great!! Next week i start my lab work and my EKG and chest x-ray.. Im soo close and i can't wait!!!! Nothing can bring me down ;)

Monday, October 18, 2010

Im still here

I had non-eventful weekend. I didn't do much, but clean clean clean. Im trying to prep for my hubby coming home, me going to state board, and my surgery. My gallblatter knows its about to be evicted, its been giving me hell. I keep patting it, telling it it has only 22 more days LOL. The days seem to be dragging by lately. I want to hurry up and go to state board, hurry up and  see my hubby, hurry up and have suregry.. and you know how life is. Life is Hurry up and wait !!!
 Im soo stressed out( my own fault) and im breaking out like a teenager.. blehhhhh

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

another day, another pound(hopfully)

well my little girl was sick, so i was unable to go to school. Instead i busted out a ton of cleaning which i hope would have burned a ton of calories. I have had a couple shakes today and a couple bites of baked chicken. I have to admit, Im a little scared that i won't lose enough weight to have surgery. there was no movement on the scale today and that freaked me. I get to do my labs on the 25th and do my endoscopy on the 29th. Im ready to get more surgery related stuff out of the way. I feel like im being pulled in 10 ways. I have  to do all this pre-op surgery stuff, finish my Nail tech school. Then I need to study and pass boards on the 4th. I feel like I will finally be able to fully take a breath when my surgery is over and im resting in the hospital. Usually im not a chaotic person at all, but to be honest it almost makes the days fly by faster  lol. Tomorrow is one day closer to a new start on life... YEA!!!

Monday, October 11, 2010

pretty uneventful day

not much to report today. I can 100% say that not an ounce of food has passed threw these lips. The last 2 days i have had 4 shrimps at night to calm the grumble, but not today. I hope i wake up  and the scale says it paid off. I have my endoscopy thing on the 22nd of this month, im kinda nervous about it, but im sure I'll be fine.  Well world, Im off to shower and start a new day tomorrow!!!!

Sunday, October 10, 2010

I lost 6lbs since i saw the doc

YEA!!! It really helps the to know that the hard work( not eating is HARD work!!) is paying off. When i was the Doc i was 356, now im 350.. Only 10 more pounds till surgery, which i wil loose and more im sure. It seems to be getting easier the hungry feeling. It REALLY sucks smelling food tho. Like foods that are not good for you but taste sooo damn good. Instantly my mouth waters ;( soo i grab a water for protien shake.  I feel a tad depressed i must admit. The thought of not being able to gulp down a drink or eat a yummy peice of pizza kinda makes me sad. I love to eat, which is why my ass is so big LOL.. i just gotta remind myself.. NOTHING tastes as good as THIN will feel.....................

Friday, October 8, 2010

well today wasn't too bad

So I did go to bed with a hungry tummy last night, I was sipping of Zero Vit water, which helped a tad. I woke up and had a 16oz protein drink, WHY can't they make these to taste like bacon & eggs :( everything is sweet this sweet that .. BLEHHHH  I hung out with my best friend for most of the day, Im really blessed to have a wonderful chica in my life like her. I went to GNC today. I wiped the clearance section out and actually found some tasty drinks.  I had 3 drinks today and a small tiny dinner. Im trying so hard to stick to the liquid diet. I honestly hated every minute of eating, and now i feel crummy, but tommorrow is a new day. So i thought i would disclose my weight today. Hey if Im gonna be honest it should start from the start, right? well my hughest weight has reached 370 ::thud::  wow, I actually wrote that out. My current weight is 354. Everyone who knows my weight swears up and down i don't look that big, but i think they are just being nice to the fat kid .. LOL I got my test date for state board( Im taking the Manicurist test) and thats Nov 4.. Damn thats when i was supposed to have my pre-op witht he doc, so im hoping to reschedule that... I have unknowingly given up diet soda, I don't know how long that will last, but i have no want for it.  And energy drinks too, i have them in my fridge and don't even reach for them, which is nice, but im getting caffine withdrawl headaches.  Ok, well enough for tonight.  Peace out!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Today i set the date

So today I set and paid for Gastric Bypass surgery. I can honeslty say I was a tad nervous to hand over the check and set a date.  I have a date of Nov 9th, 2010. Im on a liquid protein diet until surgery, Im already hungry and ate a hard boiled egg and 3 bits of salad. It seems like the only drinks out there are all sweet. Which is fine sometimes, but not when you want the baked chicken your kids had for dinner. I want to write here daily. I think it will help me and maybe anyone reading it. I know I will greeve the foods i once loved. I took the boys to a yummy cupcake shop and I was suprised how easy ikt was to turn it down, i gues the thought of my in skinny jeans was more powerful... lol. Im actually at peace with the surgery, im nervous, but no longer scared, my doctor is a very soft spoken man, who puts me fears to rest. Im ready to start this new wonderful journey in my life... and i will be updating this often, join me for my honest, no hold barge, real in your face journey threw weight loss surgery :)